Borrowed feelings intimidate me

It seems to me that the things you push farthest away from you are the things that end up staying with you forever. What you do good comes around bad ? It was the best thing in the world from every point of view, was I so idiot to think this was goint to last forever? of course I was.I tried, or at least, I wanted to try. The only thing that matters now is the most difficult. And if it's not this way..it's doesn't exist at all.In me was growing a huge anger at the thought that he was going to continue his life as if I didn't even exist.Honesty is in the end a personal issue, a life attitude which concernes only me.It may happen to you the most awful things and you still recover. You just have to survive. It's something wrong with the world today, my entire world crashed as a matter of fact. I found myself but I got lost ..in such a short time..

Someone told me that it's not good to fall in love, love hurts. Hurts as hell..and then..you become pathetic! In time you become stronger but you need a lot of steps in order to succed that. All the pretty stuff,at one moment, you'll keep them just for yourself, you get to a so-told detachment..to a spiritual maturity.. You look around, you start to run a saw on feelings "I don't love him. I don't care anymore" like you're waiting for the same end- it won't last! nothing lasts! the communication with others becomes cold and in every discussion related to 'him' you get pissed of and you react more impulsivly like ever. You realize that the persons you are with have absolutely no blame in what he did to you. You hate living through your memories, it's like admiting you have a certain weakness for him..of which you can't get rid of, but which you hide so well, or at least, that's what you're trying to do with all your strenght.
Everything will pass. It's just a matter of time.